Step 6

While writing my Fourth Step, I tried my best to be thorough and fearless with my moral inventory. After sharing this written work with my sponsor in Step 5, the time came to take a deep dive and examine my specific defects of character in Step 6. The goal was not only to become willing to change, but also to rely on the God of my understanding in this process. My defects of character are attributes about my personality and behaviors which my sponsor and I have identified and realized could be changed for the better. By getting honest with myself and my sponsor, I’ve raised my awareness of some of these character flaws. I realized how dishonest and selfish I can be, not only with others, but also with myself. I have always been pretty good at identifying all the problems of the world around me, but rarely do I consider my own faults. While working Step 6, I realized that I am sometimes oversensitive and too easily hurt. I saw myself getting easily upset and having feelings of self-pity when others criticized me, didn’t do what I wanted or disagreed with me. I noticed this was especially true if it involved those closest to me, like my wife. I can also have a sense of entitlement and feel that I don’t have to follow all the rules if they seem to get in my way. Entitlement allows me to speed while driving, sit wherever I want to at ballgames and pick up little things that don’t belong to me. I can gossip and brag, trying to build myself up by tearing others down. I also can joke around too much, using humor to try to avoid confrontations or pain. These realizations in Step 6 have helped me develop some humility and recognize that I have a lot of room for improvement. The more I examined my flaws, the more I could see the need for me to change. Progress for me is being able to name my defects, claim them and become willing to discard them. I realize I will never become perfect, but I can make progress, one day at a time, and ask for help I need to identify my defects of character.