Step 4

Step 4 involves taking a thorough inventory of our life, including past events, people, relationships, resentments, thoughts, feelings, successes, and failures. The willingness to do this fearless work of writing about our life is evidence of Step 3 being put into action. Fearlessness implies that effort will be required to navigate through our emotions with courage as we reflect upon our past. Morality can be thought of as contradictions between our values and our behaviors. We can ask ourselves, “Am I sincere when I say I want to work The Program and change for the better?” The purpose of working Step 4 is to gain insights about our life and notice behaviors that might not have served us well. This process of self-examination helped me gain some humility and new perspectives on my life. By writing a thorough and fearless inventory, I better understood the exact nature of my motives and noticed my typical patterns of behavior. I did the Fourth Step by writing out my inventory over several months using a Step 4 guide available at meetings. I then examined what I wrote and discussed the contents and revelations with my sponsor. I discovered that I have some good qualities that I liked about myself that I wanted to keep. I also have some negative aspects of my personality and patterns of behavior which don’t serve my best interests. The goal of any inventory is to keep the good and discard the bad. I had suffered traumas and committed many misdeeds that were difficult and even painful for me to revisit and write about. In doing so I was able to face the truth about myself and my past and commit to trying to change for the better. In many ways this process has helped me discover who I really am and what I want in life. I am better now able to move away from destructive patterns I developed in my addiction and towards healthy behaviors and attitudes in recovery.